totally crawlin'

I just can’t stop kissing you. I wrap my arms around your whole body and hug you tight, trying not to squeeze the breath out of you. You don’t mind. I kiss you so much and so hard I expect you to get pissed but you don’t – yet. I love your cute little sighs, your squeals, your screeches, even. Sometimes you flat out scream at the top of your lungs. You are so soft, warm and cuddly. I could cuddle the crap out of you for hours. Your sweet face looks up at me, eyes wide and blinking. Gah! It kills me. I have to really resist the urge to nibble on you. Papa did once and made you cry hahahaha.

You have figured out how to sit up from the all fours position at some point in the past week. You do it so well, like you’ve known all along. But you haven’t started really crawling on hands and knees yet. You like to pull yourself up, but not quite standing. I’ve seen you even get up on your feet but with your hands still on the floor. You have a bunch of small toys but you are only interested in non-toy things like shoes, the a/c registers, cords, the floor fan, the side table, the remote. You go straight for these things as soon as you can so we are going to put your toys away and get you some new ones and rotate them to keep you interested. I think you are still going to go after the stuff you aren’t supposed to though. I caught you trying to chew on the cord to the fan and there’s no real way to put all these things out of reach so we have to keep a close eye on you, and I may put some bitter spray on the cords to discourage you from chewing on them (just like a puppy!). I wish they made everything wireless.

When I come home from work, you smile so big. If I even walk past you to set my bags down you get upset and start to cry so I have to pick you up immediately and you are happy. Sometimes papa has dinner cooking and we eat. Lately I have been giving you more foods to try. Baby purees don’t seem very good so I always try to have some kind of finger food for you to experiment with. I gave you a taste of chicken pot pie that daddy made. I’ve given you kiwi fruit, bananas, beef stroganoff, and a biscuit. I can tell you want to eat real food and you are getting there but you still have to eat your purees. I had started to make your baby food from scratch with my baby bullet system but mama is too busy to do that all the time and I get a ton of baby food from WIC. I add a pinch of cinnamon to your purees sometimes and you like it. You really liked the mashed cauliflower with turmeric that I made you a while back. I’ll have to try that again.

I don’t think there are very many children who are as loved as you. Every day I hear about kids who have suffered or died at the hands of an adult, usually their own parents, and it breaks my heart. I understand that caring for a baby is difficult, and there were times that your daddy and I thought we would lose our shit. But we kept it together, and I am so glad we did. I know there are going to be many trials ahead, but right now, you are a perfect baby. We love you more than anything in the world. We may be a little over protective and nurturing but we don’t care. It may come back to bite us in the butt but I hope not. We don’t let you cry; we soothe you or do whatever it takes to make you happy again. Sometimes it’s that you want food, a bath, a nap, a different toy, going outside, boob, a dirty diaper, or you just want to be held. Whatever your little heart desires is our command. Our landlord thinks you are a spoiled (brat). She will never be babysitting you so she can think whatever she wants. It may be true, but you are my one and only baby and I don’t think anyone can be over-loved. But trust me; we will do everything in our power to make sure you aren’t really spoiled. You will learn to be kind, compassionate, responsible, considerate & hard-working

Milo

Today a terrible thing happened. Mommy doesn't usually deal with tragedy often but this time is different. One of my December mamas friend got into a car accident and her baby boy who is the same age as you, died. Mommy was deeply deeply saddened. Even papa cried. We held you extra tight and loving this week. We couldn't imagine losing you. We both agree that we wouldn't survive if you left us. Poor baby Milo has taught us valuable life lessons. It's only been a week since he passed but it has seemed like a lifetime. The grief is lightening up for me somewhat, and I hope that Milo's mommy and daddy find comfort soon. I promise I won't forget Milo. Maybe later when I'm not so sad about it I will write better but mama can't find the right words.

heat wave

The weather has been record breaking heat wave for several days. No rain. The plants are wilted every day, even if we watered them. The heat index this weekend was 119. It’s been the hottest ever recorded.

You were incredibly hungry. There are times you aren’t real interested in eating and other times you are so hungry for food you get fussy. Last night you must have been hungry because when I laid you down to sleep and nursed you, you chugged your milk, which is a very unusual feeling. I could hear you gulping fast and feel the milk coming out at a fast pace. I tried not to laugh

I wish you could just poop. I hate seeing you constipated.

You are so much more active at night now. Before you settle down to sleep, you have to squirm, flop over, get on your hands & knees and otherwise flail about like a fish out of water. Sometimes you settle down in a few minutes, sometimes it take a long time and I get frustrated because I don’t have enough milk for you to latch on and off all night. Your papa sometimes has to take over and put you to sleep. You fall asleep for him so well, and he brags about it everytime.

You are scared of the vacuum cleaner now so we have to hold you while doing it.

milk in mah sippy cup

Mama got you a sippy cup with a straw. It just makes more sense. You weren’t handling the training cup very well because you have to tip it towards your face. You took to drinking with a straw very fast and can do it very well now. Papa has even given you Breastmilk in it and he said you sucked it right down.

Papa plays a new game with you in bed. He hides behind a pile of blanket and asks, “where’s Waylon?” and you crane your neck and stretch up to see him. When he pushes the blanket down and says, “there he is!” you smile and giggle. It’s so cute.

You seriously love Elmo. I always point him out in your books and on videos and you smile. Papa found a video of Elmo singing about ducks and everytime you hear a quack you laugh.

Your army crawl is much more efficient. You get up on your hands and knees and kind of sway back and forth and can manage a step or two before you fall flat on your belly and go back to army crawling. Sometimes you get pissed off when you want to really take off and you get stuck.

Lately you’ve been getting fussy right before bedtime. I don’t know why. You absolutely hate having your clothes changed. It’s been so hot lately I just put you in a diaper at night now. During the day you just wear pants because your knees are getting red from all the crawling. You really dislike diaper changes and will NOT sit still long enough for me to put one on you. Then you get pissed when I keep flipping you back over so I can get the damn thing on. 

I can see the faint white of your teeth under the surface of your gums but nothing has erupted yet. I got you baby Oragel natural teething tablets and you eat them like candy. Can’t tell if they help but they are homeopathic so why the hell not. I also got you an amber teething bracelet that wouldn’t fit around your chubby ankle so I put it on your wrist. I can’t really tell if that helps either. 

You love kitty, kitty loves you. He likes to snuggle up against you. You don’t like his fur tickling your face. You really really don’t like it when Bibi licks your face, which happens anytime your face is within reach of her tongue.

Mommy had ordered some bed rails online to put on the bed but mommy and daddy had a huge fight and he ended up taking the bed down and putting it on the floor (finally, after talking about doing this for weeks). It worked out great because now we have a mattress on the floor in the bedroom and the foam topper in the office for you to play on.

mommy's birthday

@ your 6 month checkup

We were kind of worried about how you would handle your 6 month shots because last time you suffered. I truly believe it was because the vaccine didn’t fully spread and some of it oozed out of the injection site. This time mommy made sure she rubbed the spot really good. You screamed for a minute, but then calmed down and even smiled at the nurse as we were leaving. I hate to see you in such distress but you are such a good boy, you calmed down pretty fast. We gave you a little bit of Tylenol right before the shot too. 

The doctor said you were a very healthy boy. In the 95^th % for height and 50^th % for weight. You have had no illnesses or anything other than constipation, which the doc told us to give you Karo syrup for. I don’t like the idea of giving you high fructose corn syrup but I did some research and gave it a try and it seemed to help. I just don’t want to give it to you all the time. You need to adjust to pooping on your own. Mommy got super organized and finally put your info together in a binder so we can easily keep track of all your shots and health information. I was kind of worried about your left eye seeming to cross inwards but the doc said that was normal part of developing eyes and it would only be a concern if they were going outwards, not inwards. Since then, I’ve noticed that your eye isn’t crossing noticeably anymore.

mini-me

You look so much like me. Everyone says you take after me and I agree although there are many things you take after your dad too. But mostly it’s me. But there are things you do that are from me, too. Mannerisms that you couldn’t have possibly learned by watching, it must be genetic. You yawn exactly like I do, opening your mouth in a O shape, scrunching your nose, and then the exhale sigh. It’s exactly like mine. The way you look around scrutinizing is also from me. The “worried” look is also mine, even if you aren’t worried. Your chuckle – huh huh huh huh is also mine. You also still do some things you did inside my belly, like the finger scratching which you do when you are nursing to sleep.  

crawl baby crawl

So close to crawling. You can lift your butt up in the air better, and your army crawl is stronger. You like to crawl towards the pack n play, and get yourself stuck in the corner staring at the wheel. You’ve been pretty constipated since starting on solids so we are trying to help you with that by prunes, prune juice and backing off the bananas. I’m so sorry we made you constipated cause I can tell its tough on you. I also got you some teething tabs which seemed to help with the teething. I might make you some herbal chamomile tea too. Yesterday was father’s day. We didn’t really do anything cause he wasn’t feeling good (he drank a lot of whiskey the night before). I got him a fishing pole, some shorts and t-shirt. I took you to the grocery store, you like to look around from the sling then you pass out and I finish shopping. When you wake up you get squirmy and then it gets frustrating to shop. I’ve been bathing you in your inflatable duck bathtub and you seem to enjoy it. I worry about you going underwater so much.

I love waking up with you in the morning. Your sweet little face is so cute, your eyes open wide and you smile so happily to see me. When I put you down for naps when you are cranky and tired, you are so eager to nurse to sleep you get a bit frantic. Sometime you laugh, sometime you whimper. You just can’t wait for me to whip out the boobie so you can suck and pass out. One time you actually gigglesnorted as you latched on, making me laugh. When you are really tired, you pass out almost instantly. Sometimes you are restless and you kick your legs and scoot your body upwards and I have to drag you back down by your leg. I think we are giving up all hope of transitioning to your crib. You still really enjoy bouncing like crazy in your jumper. Papa wants to get you a walker but I think it’ll be a waste because our place is so small and most of it is carpet. There’s really nowhere for you to walk to. I’ve been saying Hi to you a lot and one time it seemed like you were trying to say Hi back to me. You are very interested in books.